Infertility

It sucks. And it is far more common than you'd think. I personally have 4 close friends that have struggled with infertility. FOUR. That is too many.
And now, Justin and I are struggling.  We always knew our path to parenthood would be unique, due to his vasectomy.  In November 2012 we met with a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  If you are into numbers,  that was 19 months ago. 
He referred us to an Urologist and ordered further testing for me. Because if we were going to spend a bunch of money on a reversal, I wanted to be sure my body was in working order. At that point, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Which is a fairly common endocrine disorder. Basically, I struggle to lose weight, I have developed facial hair (hello waxing!), and most importantly, I do not have a regular period. At this point, my cycles were 42-45 days long.
On the vasectomy reversal side, after doctors appointments and testing, we opted to not do it at that time. We still had a lot of tests (genetic and otherwise) we wanted to do. And then our doctor left.
By this point it was May 2013. Which is around the time I decided I wanted to work again. In July 2013 I started my current job, and we decided to put babies on hold for the time being. I wouldn't be eligible for maternity leave until I had been there a year anyway. In October 2013, I was promoted. With extra money, we definitely started thinking of babies again. 
After a lot of discussions, between ourselves and with doctors, we made a decision. We were going to do Artificial Insemination with Donor Sperm. It was a BIG decision. And Justin and I both agree we wish we'd thought of this sooner. At my annual checkup with my Gyno, I asked her for a recommendation. She is with the office our previous RE was with, but his position had still not been placed. She told us there would be a new RE in April, or she could recommend someone in another city. April was NOT an option. 
In January, we met with our new RE. To say he is amazing, would be an understatement. He is positive and encouraging, without sugar coating things. At our first appointment, he went over the protocol we'd be following when the time came. At this point, I also had an exam. Which resulted in finding a polyp in my uterus. Surgery to remove said polyp occurred in March.
Through this time, Justin and I spent WEEKS pouring over donor profiles. It is a very odd thing to go shopping for. And then we found the perfect match for us. We saw the donor's baby picture and just knew that was the guy for us.
At our follow up appointment post surgery, we found out that I am a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis. Not a surprise, as my cousin has CF. And truly, if it has to be someone, I am happy it is me and not my sisters or my cousins. Because of the donor, our chances of a child with CF is very slim.
In May 2014 it was FINALLY time to do our first cycle of IUI. I was on Clomid for 4 days at a 100mg dose. At our follicle scan, it was determined that it didn't work. So for 4 more days I was back on Clomid, at 150mg. Clomid makes me crazy. My poor husband dealt with a very unstable wife during the time I was on that medication. Unfortunately, I still did not have a lot of follies. On May 17th we had our first IUI, with ONE follicle, measuring 24mm.
After the longest two week wait, we found out that it didn't work. And it sucks. A lot.
What also sucks? Our perfect donor is sold out and is no longer donating. 
Many days I really feel this journey is never going to end. There have been a lot of tears, a lot of really hard days, and a lot of baby avoiding going on in our house. 
We didn't try again in June, because my long cycles and we are going on vacation. We are putting the thought in our mind that this is going to be a nice, relaxing trip. Reducing my stress level about the process will help our chances of conceiving. I want to have a nice, calm body when it comes for our next cycle. Which will hopefully be late July/August. 
Infertility does completely suck, and until I was in this, I had NO idea how many people I knew affected by it. I hope that if anyone reading this is going through the same thing knows they are not alone.

Updates

It has definitely been a minute.
This year is off to a busy start. 
Last week, my sister had this super cute little boy: Baby Jack just melts my heart!

Work is going well. In October, I took a promotion and so far it is amazing. Definitely more stressful than ever, but I'm managing. Mostly ;)
And most importantly, and expensive, Justin and I have been trying to get pregnant. Of course it isn't that simple. I feel like nothing can ever be easy for us, and it completely bites. 

Sweet Sixteen

My niece will be turning 16 next Spring. 16...crazy!
Last night, she was telling me how much she would *love* to have a sweet sixteen party. 
So, I think this might be my mission! I was thinking of either two options. A girls only day. Do facials, mani and pedis, makeup and then a photo shoot.  Or, a big party. DJ, dancing, boys...all of that jazz.
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Weekly Obsessions

This has been a pretty chill week. I had a few job interviews, my niece stayed over, and I watched an insane amount of tv.
A few things I am loving: Wen Hair Care This summer my hair has been a bitch. I have tried everything. Conditioning masks, leave in treatments, oils, EVERYTHING.  I have been hearing good things about this lately and when Meg (one of my favorite bloggers, check her out!) said she has been loving it, I decided to try. I got pretty lucky, my Mom bought some on QVC (she is retired now, I guess that is how she is passing the time.) She told me she loved it, but her hair is so short, she thought I'd get better use out of it. So sweet. She had the Spring Gardenia and I love it. I have used it just twice now and I cannot believe the difference in my hair.

Hobby Lobby...no shocker there!  I typically only shop HL for craft supplies, or if there is a sale. In the last month, I have gotten KILLER deals on home decor. I found 4 MUST have items for under $5 each. 90% aisle treated me well. In addition to that, I was like an addict needing a fix in the fabric aisle. I came home with over 6 yards of beautiful fabric for less than $17.

I am OBSESSED with the town Farmer's Market! It is no doubt the highlight of my week lately and I am so beyond stoked to go tonight.
Annnnnnnnnnnd my other obsession? My killer boudoir photograher. I keep creeping on pictures of myself. Vain? Nah.

Playing Catch Up

It has been an interesting week or so.
I can finally say that my little sister is pregnant with her 2nd baby! To help announce the pregnancy (she and her husband are in Colorado until Dec.) I made this great shirt for my nephew:
"This Superhero is getting a sidekick"

(I think I am going to list the design in my Etsy store! I have had 3 calls so far from people that saw it on Facebook!)
He definitely wasn't pleased at first. It was traumatic for all of us. He ended up just wanting to sit in his room with Justin reading books. Eventually, he came around. He is going to be an excellent big brother!

I filmed my Mom finding out. I wish I had been able to do that for everyone, but it wasn't possible.
This week has mostly been spent crafting and cleaning. Tons of fun, right ;)

Living Room Decor

Our living room is getting closer and closer to finished!  We decided to say F painting for the moment. I hate painting! Our walls are a taupe color right now, and I can live with that. I do eventually want to paint, but I feel like our entire house is in various stages of completed. It makes not sense to tape off another room. A few weeks ago we picked up these curtains

I am obsessed with them! The great thing? They are ombre. We hung them upside down so the go from Orange (Target calls them coral...I disagree) to White. They can be hung either way!

We have a sofa table (I think that is what they are called?) that we put along the wall because the layout of our room doesn't allow it behind the sofa. 

It is full of wedding pictures and is a great focal point.

In this photo, the table isn't centered. It is now, I promise!!

And excuse my mass amounts of cat toys. Our cats are like toddlers and have toy piles everywhere.

The gold "G" was formerly in our dining room but it no longer works.

The green little statue things on the table are from Hobby Lobby--MAJOR sale! The were originally $30 each and I got them for $4.70!

I made all of the canvas and wood blocks myself. 

The only close up I have of the big canvas is before the final paint color. Originally, it was teal. But I decided it was too much blue. So it was switched to gold, but this gives a great close up of the bird design.

I am OBSESSED! The bird was cut out of shelf liner from Dollar Tree! Isn't that so thrifty fun!?

The blocks are just left over wood blocks from a custom order I had. I cut different orange fleur de lis designs. I thought the silhouette was just fun. I wanted the wall to be a hodge podge of different things. The other canvas (not pictured) says, "So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you" It is a quote from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is one of our favorites and we used it in our wedding programs.

On the wall where the tv sits, we hung these:

I've only had them for THREE years sitting in a closet. They were purchased at Lowe's for $20 each.

 My Mom called me a few weeks ago and told me a great story. Back in 1985, she wanted this rocking chair so badly. Looked at it constantly. When she found out she was pregnant she went to buy it, and it had been sold.

That night my Dad came home with the rocking chair.

She told me that she wanted me to have it, and I am so excited to add it to our living room! She and I are going to strip it and stain it ebony to match the room.

I am SO happy to have this room nearly finished! Once the chair is here,  I only need to make throw pillows and finish one wall.

wooohoo!!

Weekend Wrap Up!

Goodness! This has been a crazy 4 days or so! Thursday I spent HOURS cleaning our house. Mop, vacuum, dust, hang pictures in the living room...yuck. I am not a neat freak--at all. I am a total slob. So it sucked. Friday, Justin took a 1/2 day and we spent 4 hours and a bunch of money on food and decor for the party. That night, my college roommate came down to spend the weekend! We were up until 1am making rice. It was a long night! Saturday--PARTY DAY! Justin and I woke up and went to pick up the group gift at Kohl's and I grabbed a new dress for the party. A solid black maxi--and yet, no pictures. Lame. Here is the cake: How cute, right?! The sand is the BEST thing! It is like a mix of brown sugar and graham crackers. Obsessed! When we got the cake, I needed a cupcake, of course Here is the pineapple palm tree I made I didn't want to waste pineapple, so I also added the little shrubs--and made everyone promise to eat the pineapple on Sunday. Here are a few more party shots: My Step dad having a great time Opening the group gift--a Margaritaville Margarita Machine! The other part of the group gift was a gift bag full of tequila and mixers! It was definitely a great weekend. Yesterday we had brunch and said goodbye to Marissa. And then laid around all day. We had Chinese take out for dinner and watched a ton of movies. It was lovely!

Gift Giving Stress

I don't know about you, but I hate group gifts. I hate them obsessively. 
My Mom and I were planning to split a killer gift for my Aunt and Uncle's 25th anniversary. Then, another family member wanted in.
Then she added SIX more people.
And somehow, the gift I was paying $40 for, I am paying $65. How does that even make sense? 
On top of the other gifts I have, on top of the expenses of the party I've been planning for 3 months.

You better believe I called my Mom and told her we are going to use coupons to buy said gift. 
Thank you $50 off $100 at Elder Beerman.

Wedding Day Link Up!

I will take ANY chance to share our wedding details, so when I saw this link up, I knew I had to join!

Justin and I were married 2.19.2012 in Key West, Florida.

We fell in love FAST. On our 6 month anniversary he proposed and we vowed that weekend to take our time and plan the perfect wedding.

Big fat lie. We were engaged in September 2010 and we were going to wait until January to start even thinking of plans.

Within 12 hours of being home for our engagement weekend, I was calling venues. Originally, we planned a BIG, 250 guest wedding at home.

Then, we went on vacation in December 2010. While sitting in the sun, I looked at him and said, "Let's go away and get married."

SO, we started planning.

By Christmas 2010, we knew it would be Key West. We picked a date for 2012 to give our family and friends more time to plan for a big trip.

Venue:

We did a private chartered catamaran.

Bridal Party:

I jumped the gun when planning and asked my girls before I knew we'd have a destination wedding. I told them all I would understand if they couldn't make the trip or didn't want the added bridesmaid expense. They all totally still did it! Our sides were uneven. Justin's friends and many family members couldn't get the time off work/afford to come. So he had 2 groomsmen, and our ring bearer.

Colors:

Purple, Teal, and Gold

First Dance:

The Beginning, Alice Peacock

Details:

We arrived in Key West a few days before the wedding. Saturday night we had a Welcome Party, rather than a Rehearsal Dinner. It was a BLAST! There is this GREAT place in Key West called Dante's. It has a pool, great food, and awesome service! We had a blast.

Sunday, we had pictures on the dock around 4:30, then boarded the boat.

We did ceremony and first dance while the sun was setting. Then we had our yummy tropical feast. The rest of the night was spent dancing. It was amazing!

The Dress:

I had my dress custom made by a local seamstress. I called her SIX weeks prior to our wedding because I hated my dress. She and I sketched out what I dreamed of and she made it! It was PERFECT.

Honeymoon:

We stayed a week in Key West and then we departed on a 7 day cruise!

Driving down to Key West from Orlando

St. Martin

What would I change?

Honestly, NOTHING. Our day was PERFECT. There are sometimes I wish I had put more effort into finding cheaper deals for our guests so a few more people could have made it down. But then I think, nahhh, you had a YEAR. Find your own deals! 

I am SO happy we went to Key West to get married. We fell so in love with it, and now it is "our" little place. And for real---this was the view at our wedding!